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Your idea of serving breakfast is giving each of your kids a fork and dropping an Eggo in the middle of the table.
You reprimand your children with "minors," "majors" and "misconducts."
When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns green, you stop.
When you come to a traffic signal and the light turns red, you get really excited and chant, "He shoots! He scores!"
I nstead of duct tape, you use hockey tape to fix everything.
You call a trip to the Hockey Hall of Fame a "pilgrimage."
You went into a bank because it advertised "Free Checking"....and walked out disappointed.
You can pronounce anything in French, yet you have no idea what it means.
Every time you hear a siren you wonder who scored.
You're not allowed to play chess simply because the first time you played, you misunderstood the meaning of the word "Check."
Everything in your wardrobe is your team's colors.
Your closet is divided into 2 sections: HOME and AWAY
You make biscuits in dimensions of 3" by 1."
You burn the biscuits black.
You play a game with one of the biscuits.
You deck the guy who says, "Check, please."
You own a Zamboni.
You keep your Zamboni in the garage while your main car stays in the driveway.
Your calendar only runs from October to June.
You wonder how you will get through July, August, and September.
When someone says, "two minutes" you respond, "What for!?!"